I hosted a small baby shower today for the one person I know here in town. We invited four of her friends over for lunch and presents. And when they left, I kicked my feet up on the coffee table and noticed that I was wearing one black shoe and one blue one. Sigh...

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1 DAMN!!!I hate it, when that happens!!Any chance we're related???

Posted by: debey at January 21, 2007 08:13 PM (AyWtO)

2 Maybe they thought you were going through a "Punky Brewster" phase.

Posted by: The Girl at January 21, 2007 08:40 PM (4qUzg)

3 Well, I wasn't going to comment on whether or not you should have a baby yet, thinking that was entirely up to you. But now I notice you seem to have "Mommy brain" down pat, so I guess it's time.;D

Posted by: Ruth H at January 22, 2007 05:17 AM (lS0ga)

4 Umm...one blue sock and one black sock...I could have gotten that....but two different shoes...definitely very Punky Brewster-esque...you rebel you!

Posted by: CaliValleyGirl at January 22, 2007 06:19 AM (deur4)

5 So funny! I don't care what you wear, I still love, ya!

Posted by: Angie at January 22, 2007 07:15 AM (ec43W)

6 Well, they're the exact same shoe, just I own them in black and navy...and it is dark in the recesses of the closet...shut up, Cali.

Posted by: Sarah at January 22, 2007 08:23 AM (BP8jf)

7 Heh ... I've got the same pair of shoes in black and red ... Yup, I've gone out like that (not intentionally!). At least black & navy are kind of close...

Posted by: Toni at January 22, 2007 09:38 AM (NqozS)

8 Ha!!

Posted by: Andi at January 24, 2007 11:06 AM (PwfFQ)

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If I could sum up how the Army has given my life more meaning than I ever thought possible when I agreed to marry that ol' cadet, this is what I'd say: Perspective.

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Confederate Yankee sent an email to the Director of Media Relations and Public Affairs for the Associated Press about discrepancies in their "Jamil Hussein" reporting. As I read this email, I couldn't help but laugh. I wonder just how deep the MSM's hatred for bloggers runs. Can you imagine if you came to work every morning only to find that some "guy in his pajamas" tore apart your stories and demanded corrections and retractions? And bloggers find problems with many stories, not just the most obvious ones like the National Guard memos or flaming tire piles in Lebanon. I bet the Associated Press and Reuters don't even know what to do now because they keep getting their butts handed to them by nobodies.

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Apparently Muslims are mad that the terrorists in the new season of 24 are Muslims:

Watching the show’s characters talk about detonating a nuclear weapon a few blocks from where she works unnerved Sireen Sawaf, an official with the Los Angeles-based Muslim Public Affairs Council, and a self-described “huge ‘24’ fan.”

“It’s a great show, and I do realize it’s a multidimensional show that portrays extreme situations,” she said. “They have gone out of their way to have non-Muslim terror cells. But I’m concerned about the image it ingrains in the minds of the American public and the American government, particularly when you have anti-Muslim statements spewing from the mouths of government officials.”

Yeah, well I was concerned in Season 2 that the terrorist was not the Arab guy but his rich white girlfriend, because that's oh-so-likely. I'm concerned that portraying terrorists as Rachel Corries makes me have to take my shoes off more often at the airport. Pretending that terrorism comes in all shapes and colors concerns me because I think it's a red herring from the real issue. But my concerns don't get to be quoted in any newspaper articles.

You know, a terrorist was found in my hometown of Peoria. Guess what? He was Muslim. So was the professor in Florida. Maybe the official from the Muslim Public Affairs Council should be more concerned about the damage real terrorists are doing to her people's reputation and less concerned with Jack Bauer's neverending day.

More concern with this

less concern with this

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I was listening to Neil Boortz on the radio the other day, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about something he said. He was talking about speed limits, and apparently he's a big proponent of not having any. He says

The next time you're driving on an expressway keep track of the number of times you have to change what you're doing on the road because of a fast driver. How many times do you have to change your speed or your lane because someone is driving faster than you are? Now remember ... we're talking just speed. You may have to slow down because someone swerves into your lane .. but how many times do you have to change your speed or anything else about your driving technique simply because someone goes by driving ten or twenty miles per hour faster than you are.

Ahhh .. but how many times do you have to change what you're doing because of a slower driver? You're doing the speed limit in one of the left lanes, and suddenly you're behind a minivan going 10mph slower than you are. You have to (1) slow down, and (2) change lanes. Then you (3) speed up and then (4) change back into your travel lane after you've gone around the bluehair. The slowing down and lane often creates a ripple effect though the other drivers on the road. One of them may be caught off guard .. and a crash ensues.

Someone called in to the show and said that he drives an old VW bus and that he typically goes about 65 because his car can't handle higher speeds. Boortz told him that he has no business being on the expressway then, and he should stick to two-lane highways.

I've lived in a country with no speed limits. That doesn't really solve the problem. What Boortz apparently really wants is speed minimums. In Germany you could drive as fast as your wheels could take you, but there was still a steady stream of Dutch campers in the right hand lane going 65. So if I wanted to maintain a speed of, say, 80, I was constantly weaving in and out of campers going 65 and Audis going 95. I think I did more lane-changing and swerving in Germany than I do here in the US. Eliminating the speed limit in Germany didn't eliminate slow drivers; it just made the disparity even bigger. What Boortz appears to want is no upper limits paired with enforceable minimums. I'm not sure how we can force people to avoid expressways as they drive across the US.

German driving reminds me of French handwriting. When I lived in France, I was amazed that every French person seems to have the same handwriting. Apparently their handwriting training is strict, and they get graded on handwriting far longer than American kids do. I was even told they handwrite their job applications so employers can do handwriting analysis to find out their habits and tendencies. That's intense. So with the strict emphasis on following the rules of writing, they all end up with very similar penmanship. Same with German driving: the rules of the road are higher stakes than ours are since folks think nothing of driving 95 mph. Germans learn the rules and are much more likely to follow them. The traffic might be going pretty fast, but surprises and bonehead behavior is less likely.

Americans drive like their handwriting: everyone's got different rules going on. I think stricter adherence to the rules regarding lane changes and so forth is more important than speeds. You'll still have the pokey folks going 60 mph in the right lane, but at least they'll stay there!

Incidentally, I don't speed here in the US. I was comfortable driving 80 mph in Germany, but what I'm not comfortable with is getting a ticket. I set the cruise directly on the speed limit and get passed by nearly every car and semi out there. So folks are already speeding, regardless of what the signs say. Following the rules of the road will do more to prevent accidents than speeds do. Boortz says as much on his website, but he was focusing a lot on speeds on his radio show, which didn't sit right with me.

Actually, getting people to get off their damn cell phones would be a big step in the right direction. The first rule of driving is to Pay Attention...

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Today's reading via RWN: 20/20 Bias.

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"The time has come," my mother said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And how you need to get pregnant this year while your husband is in a non-deployable state instead of waiting until this arbitrary date in the future that you picked out years ago which you know darn well coincides with when he will start galavanting all over creation."

I'm scared to death of raising a child. I know it's something I want to do, but I wanted to keep it in the vague future. Someday I would be a mother. But someday is upon us, and my mother is right: I need to start thinking about specifics if we're really going to have a family.

I called a friend of mine from Germany, the least-likely mommy I know. This is the couple who hated being around children and always said there's no way they were up for parenthood. So when they decided to get pregnant, I wasn't sure how they'd fare. They PCSed, so I never saw her pregnant or anything. I knew that she was the one to ask the tough questions about babies, instead of constantly talking to Angie (pbuh), who would come raise my babies for me if I'd let her. I called her to ask her how motherhood is treating her and to get the Real Scoop on things.

She loves it.

I was shocked that this girl has taken to motherhood, and she said that knowing what she knows now, she wouldn't have waited so long; she would've done it years ago. I was just floored. So I figure if they can love it -- the least gung-ho parents I know -- then I can love it too.

Nothing's happening today, dear readers, but inshallah we'll be on the road to parenthood by the end of the year.

My friend called me back today and gave me some tips on things she wished someone had told her. She mentioned back-strengthening exercises, something I never would've thought of on my own. And it made me think that others might have some good advice for me as we start this journey.

So what advice do you have for someone who is thinking of getting pregnant?

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1 I don't have kids, but from what all of my friends have said and from what I've observed. The younger you do it the better. You have more energy, you're less uptight. And I would echo the back strengthening, kids in my family run about 26 lbs by 6 months and it can really wear out your back. You're going to be fantastic parents. Oh and don't let them eat rocks.

Posted by: Mare at January 16, 2007 06:33 AM (Oc90P)

2 Start right now making sure you're getting enough folate. Think about starting a prenatal vitamin rather than just a regular one a day. Pre-conception and the early days of your pregnancy, i.e. before you know you're pregnant, are when it's most developmentally important to the baby to have the right nutrients. Other than that, just make sure you're eating healthy and not going overboard on alcohol/cigarettes/drugs, etc. (not that you do, just general healthy living guidelines.) Good luck to you. We might be starting our own parenting journey here (I'm waiting for a Dr. to confirm it before I let myself talk about it in more definite terms), and while I'm excited, I am absolutely panicking about how much of a change this is going to be. So I'm hoping to learn from any advice you might get too.

Posted by: karishma at January 16, 2007 07:07 AM (yU8Jx)

3 You'll be a great mother! What matters is that you know that this is the toughest, roughest, most rewarding job/experience you'll ever have. Above all always remember, you can only plan for the estimated arrival, after that it's up to the child and parents just go along for the ride.

Posted by: Vonn at January 16, 2007 09:06 AM (/VoEr)

4 Sarah - I don't know you, but enjoy reading your blog. So I will put in my advice... Take prenatal vitamins - if not prenatals, then make sure you take a daily vitamin. And don't stress too much about it. It will happen. There is ALOT you can read online. Assuming you dont smoke, drink only moderately, eat relatively well, then you should be fine, but never hurts to get an appt w/your OB too. I actually was 11w 0d pregnant w/my 2nd & didnt even know it - odd you ask since I'd been pregnant before, how did I not know? Long story (which I'd be happy to share via email b/c I am sure all your readers frankly don't care).

Posted by: Keri at January 16, 2007 11:15 AM (LBYUf)

5 Kegels, kegels, kegels. (& I second the folic acid)

Posted by: Infantry Wife at January 16, 2007 01:13 PM (kQWmi)

6 I could write a full page comment on this, but think I will just write a post on this...or not. I am one of those least likey Mothers. We were married 10 years, before starting the babu game. I was 32 when giving birth for the first time. I NEVER baby sat, changes maybe 5 diapers, thought most children were brats. However, am LOVING it, and it is the HARDEST job I have had. Not one to be taken lightly. When someone is not scared, or frightened, or gives it no thought...I worry. I am the middle daughter of a Mother who was not the most "nurturing" of Mothers. My Mother was the oldest daughter out of 12 on a ranch/farm, of German immigrants. She was tired of raising children by the time she had us. Honestly. So my parenting example, was an excellent lesson. She was a great Mom, but not very nurturing. I find my biggest problem, is a terrible over protective and nurturing streak. So welcome to the journey of Motherhood. So far I have learned more than I ever did in college, and any job.... You will love it.

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at January 16, 2007 02:23 PM (nKVbZ)

7 oh, and you never SLEEP again, it seems that one ear, and one eyeball are always on. So there is that. Motherhood is not for the faint hearted, or wussies...

Posted by: armywifetoddlermom at January 16, 2007 02:25 PM (nKVbZ)

8 Second armywifetoddlermom! Also, get comfortable with nudity - labor is a relatively short experience in the grand scheme of things, but there's enough exposure going on to cause horror cringes for years afterwords. Plus, your kids will take their own clothes off whenever you aren't looking and there's someone around you're trying to impress. Get rid of all light colored furniture, rugs, and invest in the Magic Eraser company. And whatever color scheme you choose, the child will puke the opposite color.

Posted by: airforcewife at January 16, 2007 03:02 PM (0dU3f)

9 I should also probably add that even if my description sounds horrific, I still went through it four times. It definately has it's up side.

Posted by: airforcewife at January 16, 2007 03:04 PM (0dU3f)

10 Oh yeah! Prepare to seal all containers of buttons. The military should study 3 yr. olds, there is no being on earth more silent, sneaky or dangerous. (or as cute!)

Posted by: Vonn at January 16, 2007 06:53 PM (/VoEr)

11 First of all - keep 'practicing' until you get it right. Secondly, the reason your friend made a 360 is once you feel that baby inside you, then hold that baby - your life changes and suddenly has meaning.

Posted by: Kathleen A at January 17, 2007 01:58 AM (7qm8p)

12 Sarah, The DH and I are both 35 and this is our first kid. We've been married for 8 years and the best advice I can give is that the longer you wait for the perfect time the more you notice there isn't one. I'm due in August the DH finishes school Mid June and we have no idea where he will be going. Unfortunately he is trying his hardest not to miss the birth but the surge and early rotations into the sandbox may make it impossible. If you have the desire for a family and you have the chance then yes try for a child when you know he will be there for the birth, for the first few months of being a new daddy for the fun of midnight feedings and puke on ACUs. Most of all HAVE FUN!

Posted by: Household6 at January 17, 2007 09:26 AM (q1ZbX)

13 Damn I wrote an entire comment and the spam thing ate it!!! Let me try again... I am the last person who should ever have been a mother. I was in no way (let me repeat that NO WAY) ready to be a mother. My husband and I were both way too young. But there it was - baby on the way. We should all have ended up as statistics. Early divorce... kids on drugs... everything messed up. 28 years later we're still married, the kids are grown and on their own. My daughter is in Chicago and holds a good job, she just bought a condo. My son is a Sgt and CE on a Chinook... they've done very well. So, although parenting is never ever done (ask your mom *grin*) here are a few things I picked up along the way... - learn the "cat stretch" now, before you need it. It will save your back! I know this for a fact - it works very very well. Incorporate the kegals with the cat stretch - do one each time you arch your back up... 2 exercises for the price of one. - on the vitamin thing - regular daily vitamins are fine for right now. Unless your diet is really very bad don't stress over it. Most women with folic acid deficiency have very bad diets among other bad practices. Remember that the news people always need a "cause of the moment" to keep you scared. - the end of pregnancy prepares you for the beginning of having an infant at home. You won't sleep much at all in the last couple of months. You'll either be in the bathroom every 2 hours, or your have baby feet and elbows jamming you in the side or under the ribs - LOL. - No matter how deeply you sleep now - you will never be able to sleep through your baby crying. Even if the baby is in an other room and you have several doors closed between you. This I know for a fact as I used to sleep through anything and everything before kids. - You and your baby will "grow up" together. They don't spring out as instant toddlers. They gradually increase their activity and you will be able to adjust. You may not always be as quick as you should - but you won't have to instantly scrutinize everything for being childproof - you'll have months as the baby gets older - first crawls, then walks... gradual is good - you can anticipate most things (but they'll always fool you with the unexpected - one of the joys of parenting) - this is your baby. You won't believe me, but it's hugely different than anyone else's baby. You don't have to worry if you'll offend the mom if you discipline, you won't have to worry about someone else's rules... it's amazing what a difference it makes! - once you take on the job - it will always be there. - take some time off when ever possible - let your husband take care of the baby while you go shopping or just get out. He won't do everything the same as you and that's okay. The flip side of this is don't forget to spend some time with your husband... always remember you two are the foundation. Keep that strong and you will have a wonderful family. I think you will be a terrific mother. Just take a deep breath and relax. Many things are easier if you don't over think them. There is never a "right" time to have a baby - just "the" time to have one. You'll be fine. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at January 17, 2007 02:40 PM (gsbs5)

14 Well, here's my two cents worth (and my "baby" just got married and left me with an empty nest). 1. Don't worry about it. Whether you take vitamins or not, if it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. 2. God makes babies so darn cute while they are young and innocent so that you fall in love with them and are less likely to kill them when they get TTR-Temporary Teenage Retardation. 3. My first ob-gyn doctor was old and about to retire (he had delivered me and my nine siblings). When I voiced my concern about the baby being healthy he said "ahhhh, don't worry about it. You can't stomp 'em out" 4. If you do get pregnant, stay as far away from the Internet and baby books as you can. Your best source of information will come from the people who successfully raised you to adulthood. 5. Relax

Posted by: stoicmom at January 17, 2007 05:26 PM (MvdmE)

15 Remember when Chsrlie was fine for hours in the crate on your drive and then suddenly freaked out for no reason whatsoever and you had to hold him for the rest of the trip? Yeah. It's like that. Calm and then chaos for 18 years.

Posted by: MaryIndiana at January 17, 2007 05:46 PM (V5Xp/)

16 Based on your blog, I would say you have (1)a strong sense of responsibility, (2)a sense of humor, and (3)a sense of perspective. With all that, you should do great!

Posted by: david foster at January 17, 2007 05:47 PM (/Z304)

17 Don't listen to your mother about when you have to be a mother. That's my advice. Get pregnant when you want to, and make sure you're done living your own, INDIVIDUAL life before that.

Posted by: Will at January 17, 2007 06:39 PM (QRBGL)

18 I came here by way of AWTM. You don't know me, but I'm so good at giving unsolicited advice I figured I would come over here since you were actually asking for some! I'm a mother of a 4 year old and a 2 month old. The one thing that I know for sure, is that no one is ever truly ready to have a child. You give up more than you imagine, and you gain more than you could desire. Here's a few thoughts: Having children makes you incredibly vulnerable. Your heart, your soul, is divided and part of it is literally walking around in another person. Your entire life becomes about protecting and nurturing that person, and many times there are things that are out of your control. This can be extremely maddening. Motherhood introduces you to a level of worry that you didn't know existed. Everything becomes a hazard, from a bedsheet to a string to a nice slice of Brie (during pregnancy). You go from worrying about all the things that can go wrong with pregnancy (and there are a lot), to all the things that can go wrong with a newborn... and with each stage of growth a new layer of worry is added to the last. Enjoy your sleep right now. Even at the point your kids sleep through the night, you still don't sleep fully and deeply. Your mind is bent on them and their safety. Sounds wake you up. Sometimes no sounds wake you up. Sleep is a thing of the past. Pregnancy isn't so much fun. There are parts that are ok, but for the most part, it hurts, you're fat, and it feels like you've been invaded by an alien. Birth hurts. Especially if you go natural. If you breastfeed, you have a leech that is seriously sucking you dry. But you know what? All of that is so totally worth it. I look at my childless friends and I wonder how they do it... how they get up in the morning, why do they do what they do? One smile from your child can melt away a day's worth of frustration. Seeing them learn and grow and become little people... it's absolutely freaking amazing. And the moment when you first hold them, and they're wrinkly and slimy and so alien... and you're completely terrified... that's when you start to understand. Over the next week or two the love affair grows and you start to realize that you know nothing and yet you know everything you need to know at that time. The reason for the vulnerability, for the worry, for the sleeplessness, is this incredible, overwhelming, protective, beautiful, indescribable love that consumes you for this new life. You only thought you knew what love was before you had kids. Motherhood teaches you more about yourself than you ever knew... it spotlights your weaknesses, but brings out reserves of strength to overcome them. You won't be ready for motherhood until you're there. Then you'll have the tools that you need. The best advice I have is to stop and enjoy every single moment. Enjoy the moments you have now, that you won't have again. Enjoy snuggling in with your husband and sleeping late on a Saturday. Go on dates. Court one another, and if you decide to make a baby, make it an exciting, loving time. When you're pregnant, stop and enjoy it, even if it sucks a lot of the time. Enjoy those first flutters and wondering whether its the baby or if it's gas bubbles. As weird as it sounds, enjoy birth. Don't waste this moment worrying about the next. You'll be fine. Btw, if you do get pregnant, I suggest only two books. Burn "What to expect" right now. "Birthing from Within", and "The Baby Book" will tell you everything you need to know. The big part is, relax and enjoy it.

Posted by: Sis B at January 17, 2007 07:26 PM (omG97)

19 Oops! I think my comment was longer than your post. Sorry!

Posted by: Sis B at January 17, 2007 07:27 PM (omG97)

20 go for it!!! I was married six months when we found out. We were doing all the things to NOT get pregnant. It was a GOD thing. needless to say, I did not enjoy being pregnant. Mommiehood is great, even with all the good and bad things- like projectile vomiting (in the car no less), asthma attacks,etc. I would say to get a physical done before hand and if there is any bad family history stuff- diabetes, heart, get it checked preferably before so if there are problems you can be aware. we found out when my child was 18months old, I had a pretty serious heart condition and probably shouldn't have ever gotten pregnant. (hence the bad pregnancy.) so my little one is a giant miracle! And its fun to see her grow up and do so many of the things i did as a child. Like when she crawls in my bed at 0400 and puts her cold feet between my legs to get them warm, use the vacuum as a microphone.(i did the feet thing to my mom too! I think i was re-incarnated!) happy babies!

Posted by: catwin at January 17, 2007 08:07 PM (iUrvV)

21 I read you at SB and came over from AWTM's link. I too wanted to wait. My big plan was to get married at 23 and have a baby at 25. Well I got married at 18 and divorced at 24...luckily no children involved. After about 8 years and being in another relationship I had my first at 32 and the 2nd at 34. I still ended up being a single mom, but everything has worked out fine. My girls are now 9 and 11 and they just know when I need a hug without asking why. Sometimes they just want to cuddle and its usually on a day that isnt going so well. I say go for it. I wish things had worked out and I had kids when I was younger because there are alot of days that they want to go to the park, beach, etc and I just want to laze around the house. We usually compromise by going to a park nearby instead of the one 10 miles away. Just relax and it will happen!

Posted by: Cindy at January 18, 2007 02:17 AM (Iigtw)

22 My comment is less advice, more observation. I never wanted kids. Then, I had my son. All that I've worked for, all that I have, all that I see in my future, has a bright and shining blonde boy in it. I can't recall a time when he wasn't with me (he is only 3) because those days were meaningless until he blessed me with his presence.

Posted by: oddybobo at January 18, 2007 04:15 AM (mZfwW)

23 Motherhood is the very best thing that I've ever done in my life. I love it! It's a hard, tiring, stressful, dirty, thankless job being a mommy. But it's also one of the most rewarding. The first time your baby looks at you, I mean REALLY looks at you, and smiles...there's nothing like it. And having your toddler light up when she sees you and running towards you as fast as her little legs can carry her with arms outstretched... all the pain, stress, sleepless nights seem to just disappear. My relationship with DH only got better with having children. Seeing him with them made me love him even more and I never even thought that was possible. It's like we bonded on a whole new level after our girls were born. Life is different after children and there are things that you will have to give up. Sometimes it seems like you have to pack a suitcase just to go to the grocery and it takes you forever to even get out the door. You can't just decide to go to the movies or out to dinner alone with your DH at the spur of the moment. You have to find a sitter and I, for one, have a hard time trusting other people with my kids. But those are just minor inconveniences compared to the joy you have in your children. I had a life before my kids, but I swear I can't remember what it was. It's like my life really BEGAN when I became a mommy. Go for it! You won't regret it. If you wait until you are "ready" to have children then you won't have any. Good luck!

Posted by: theabbottfamilyhome at January 18, 2007 04:21 AM (IOroS)

24 I loved being pregnant. The only discomfort I had was having to pee every five minutes! It does prepare you for getting up at night. I am a chunky girl, so maybe I had more room for my son, and that's why I wasn't uncomfortable, I don't know. I would say that all the stuff I read on breastfeeding was good, but it didn't prepare me for the little guy who didn't ever want to stop!!!!!!!! He was on the boob all night, and frankly it drove me nuts. I think it was being a first time mom, not knowing if he'd ever settle down, that kind of thing. I ended up stopping after three weeks because I had to get on antibiotics. I pumped a couple of days but when I got a little bit more of sleep and felt like a different person, I decided to go to the bottle. However if I had the chance to do it again I would and I wish a lot of times that I had felt strong enough to breast feed longer (although I REFUSE TO FEEL GUILTY). I hear if you go that route that an electric pump is the way to go. If you go the bottle route, get advice on how to prepare a bunch in advance. I was lost and definitely could have done that part better. You'll find your way, and that everyone is different. The advice from some people was golden and others just irritating! Lot's of good stuff you're getting here though. I was terrified that I would screw everything up, because I had not been around babies much at all and felt silly holding them. It just felt right when I held my son. There's nothing like that little baby squirming in your arms making those awesome little baby sounds. Mine is two now and I'm so glad that I have him. The best surprise ever, and just when I had resolved myself to being childless. At 37, I can definitely say start younger if you are able. Good luck!

Posted by: Jackie at January 18, 2007 05:00 AM (CL++R)

25 As someone pointed out above, there's no right time to have a baby. Period. My first child was an "oops". I can tell you it was the best "oops" of my life. If I had to consciously decide I would have waited forever...until I was on my last egg, with an Advanced-maternal-age file. Now, I have two and am thinking of having another. My oldest is eight and youngest just turned five, and it just gets better and better. Once you're a mother, you won't believe how shallow and empty your life was before motherhood. Seriously. It's the hardest, most rewarding thing available to us on this earth. But it isn't something that you can weigh analytically pros/cons, because there is no way to place any measure on the benefits. It's like choosing to fall in love.

Posted by: Liz at January 18, 2007 09:33 AM (uNRew)

26 I am another who was directed by AWTM to give our 2 cents worth of advice. Having children is like riding a bicycle; the more you think about it the more difficult it is. If you can open the topic for debate you have already made the decision. Go for it and you will be rewarded beyond your wildest dreams. Go MOM!

Posted by: vet66 at January 18, 2007 09:51 AM (Eodj2)

27 I hope you get a good laugh and a huge grin from all of the posts. Everyone has great advice and suggestions. Remember to have fun! (If it comes down to charting and measuring your spit, you know who to contact.)

Posted by: Jenniffer at January 18, 2007 12:08 PM (ZNLn4)

28 My original post wouldn't because of spam. It was long. Now seeing how much reading you've had to endure with this, I'll try and keep it short! Most everyone's post are all flowers and sunshine, but I will rain on the parade and give you my honest opinion.... Pregnancy sucks. Of course it's exciting, HOWEVER, it's scary. You freak out over all sorts of things -- and you could be the poster child for calm and collected, and one day, you'll be sitting there, crying because you have to plug in the iron. Why "plug in the iron?" Because that's how little it takes to cry like your dog was runover in front of you. You get fat. If you are like me and every other woman on earth, your weight matters. Your rational mind tells you that you're pregnant and you're going to gain weight. Your pregnant mind tells you that you're fat. And then you get on the scale, an bwwwwaaaaammmm. Holy shit. It's awful and scary and sad and DIFFICULT. I could go on and on. But I won't. Just remember that pregnancy is no joke and not a walk in the park. I completely disagree with the previous poster who said not to read books. The What to Expect series is a MUST. And a female OB/GYN. Sorry, boys, you don't have tickets to this play. As far as motherhood? Don't stress it until the baby's born! You'll have plenty of time to ponder that!!

Posted by: allicadem at January 20, 2007 06:34 AM (Fl3cw)

29 As a man, I'll put in my perspective. Motherhood/parenthood and children are the natural progression of a married relationship. I know I'll be slammed by some, but married/no children is just a one dimensional parody of what a real marriage is. Children are your demonstable commentment to each other and the product of that love. Having said that - having children is a life experience of contradictions. It is at once the hardest, easiest, most wonderful, frustrating, endearing, enraging mode of life that two people can take on. It is an overwhelming responsibility in a modern society that puts little value childbearing. My last has graduated college and will be marrying in a few months. I'm terribly proud and happy for her. Yet, I'm saddened that (at least until grand children arrive) a major phase of our lives has passed. Scrapped knees and puppies, and wonderment at Easter eggs are long ago, yet I feel them like yesterday. Life is a Journey, and parenthood is one of the most important parts of making the trip worth while. I really don't have the words to explain, but I can tell you that when you look into your own infant's eyes for the first time and that smile glows across their face at you - you'll understand.

Posted by: Clayton at January 25, 2007 05:40 AM (dqSmk)

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I don't do spontaneous. Everything in my life must be planned out and written on the calendar or it's not going to happen. Saturday night we got a phone call from a college friend saying that he had planned to fly to Virginia and surprise us by renting a car and driving down, but that his flight out of the Midwest had been seriously delayed and could we possibly drive up to see him instead? We had absolutely no reason not to go, but making plans the night before to take a trip to another state is so not something we do.

We did it. And it was wonderful.

We stayed in a historical hotel that one of our other friends from college runs. He comped us a majorly expensive room and let the dog come too. I had no idea I had friends in high places.

Immigrant friends.

As I watched these two buddies of ours, I was so danged proud of them. They both had come to the US ten years ago with nothing, just the Indian dream of making it big in computer science. And now they're our two most successful friends. I have a hard time feeling sorry for Generation Broke when I think of all these guys have had to overcome. And their visas are always in limbo because they come from a country with too many qualified immigrants. So unfair.

We watched the football, and the 24, and then talked for hours about Kashmir and Iraq. Thank heavens we didn't let our organization obsession get in the way of the most wonderful weekend we've had in a long time.

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Warning: War May Be Hazardous

One of my stateside friends deployed and wrote me an email saying he couldn't believe we in USAREUR had to watch AFN commercials. He was outraged that there was a commercial warning folks to "watch their step."

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This has been the hardest blog secret to keep ever. I was dying for her to post something about it so I could put up a big blog hooray. But apparently telling people in her Real Life was important for some reason, like they couldn't just read it on the internet like the rest of us (wink). CaliValleyGirl-friend is now CaliValleyFiancée

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I can't really think of any great recent Charlie stories, but we've been setting up the aquarium and he's been extremely interested in the equipment. Maybe there's a lingering fish smell, but he's constantly making off with the net. And the other day I was on the phone with my mom and walked into the living room to find the fishtank rocks completely covering the floor. No sign of them coming out the other end yet, thank goodness. I told my mom what had happened and she said, "I hope you keep a closer eye on your babies than you do on that dog." With my luck, this crafty stinker will figure out a way to teach my babies to eat rocks.

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1 Tell her my dogs eat metal, glass and lots of couches. You'll look like doggie-mommy of the year in comparison. And someday you'll be an excellent human mommy

Posted by: Mare at January 12, 2007 02:49 PM (Oc90P)

2 Your post brought back a very sweet memory of our dog Cole. She was a Lab/chessie cross. Cole the wonder dog we called her. There was nothing she could not do. If you asked for Cindy's slippers she would bring them;if you asked for Doug's she would get his. She could do a triple retreive even. Anyway, on to my story. When we had our first little boy she hung back and watched for awhile. Then she decided he was going to be staying and she started to bond with him. As he grew and started to get into things they developed a symbiotic relationship when it came to milkbones. We bought the big ones. My son being only about 8 months couldn't bite them. They were too hard.( I know, I know, my mom grosses out here too.) I do not know why he liked them, but he was teething and they felt good on his gums. (by the way I did not feed him these, he got them on his own!) He would get the cupbord door open and give one to Cole. She,not having thumbs had trouble with this first step. She then would bite it and the two of them would scramble for the pieces. (another good reason to brush your dogs teeth!) Wait untill you try to keep the baby from dumping over a full dog bowl of water! I had three little water babies! Thanks for the pup update. But most of all thank you both with all my heart for your service for our country and my family. Cindy H.

Posted by: Cindy H. at January 12, 2007 06:54 PM (GmiWb)

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A while back, AWTM was asking for contributions to the most depressing songs. I suggested Harry Chapin's "Mr. Tanner" and Jude's "I Do." But tonight as I was dancing around the kitchen with the dog to some Tom Jones, I wondered about the flipside to that question. What songs bring a smile to your face no matter what? I mentioned before that I can't but grin when I hear Elvis' "Burning Love" or that detestably cheerful "Mmmbop." I also can't help but feel happy when I hear The Proclaimers' "I'm Gonna Be." (Go ahead, you know you want to listen to it.) I love it so much that we played it to close out our wedding, as we kissed and walked back down the aisle. We thought it was a tribute to all the miles we lived apart while we were dating; little did we know how often we'd live apart for the rest of our lives. I love that song, it's a true love song.

So what songs make you happy?

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Remember this summer when our travel voucher got all messed up and the Army paid us about $600 too much? That overpayment finally got found and corrected in November. But they did it again this time! And WAY more than $600. My husband just sighed and said, "More interest to be made." OK, Army, we'll keep your two grand for you for a while.

Ah, Finance. It's good to be away from you.

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1 When we first arrived in Germany (and when I knew little to nothing about how to read and correctly interpret an LES), I discovered by accident that we were being paid about $700 per month too much. (luckily I had a good idea of what a 2LT gets paid per month!) Without knowing that these things always get resolved eventually, I took my power of attorney and headed over to the finance office to make them aware of the situation...the look on the guy's face was too funny. It was the "you're actually reporting this?" look. The next month they promptly took back all of the overpayment...which introduced me to the "if you are underpaid, we'll take our time re-paying you but if you are overpaid, we'll take it all back at one" policy.

Posted by: Nicole at January 10, 2007 06:16 AM (8QLUb)

2 sorry...meant to write "once"

Posted by: Nicole at January 10, 2007 06:17 AM (8QLUb)

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Make sure you read Lileks today, but definitely go read the link to the French guy first. Ha!

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I just watched Shootout: Return to Fallujah on the History Channel. This episode chronicled one soldier I know -- CPT Sean Sims -- and many soldiers I was amazed I had never heard of.

I've read so many stories of heroism online, but there's something completely different about reading it and hearing it from the soldiers themselves. I love the way soldiers can talk about grenades going off and appear more calm than I was last night when a Coke fell out of the fridge and sprayed in circles around the kitchen. There's something just so powerful about hearing that when a guy who was dragging his wounded buddy to safety got shot in the shoulder, he simply switched his grip to the other hand and continued to care for his friend. There's something about seeing these men talk about each other with awe, and sometimes a few quivers in the voice, that doesn't come across online.

There's something humbling about watching a single man sustain a firefight alone that makes me so damned proud to know that I even lived in the same town as him once.

God, I love these men.

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Walmart takes a lot of crap, so I thought this webpage where the VFW thanks Walmart for their support was pretty cool.

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I have been completely spoiled for the past four and a half years.

The entire time my husband has been in the Army, we've lived extremely close to his work. Most places have been walking distance; the last one was at least biking distance. So every day he's been in the Army, he's made three trips into work: PT, pre-lunch, and post-lunch. We've eaten breakfast and lunch together most of our married life.

Today he went to work for the first day before PT and won't be back until close of business.

I keep telling myself that normal husbands and daddies don't get to come home for lunch. My dad never did. I also keep telling myself that now that he won't break up my day, I will have more uninterrupted time for big sewing projects. But I'm still not taking this been-gone-for-11-hours thing well.

Neither is the dog.

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When I first started blogging, I linked to everything I liked. Now I've gotten much lazier and there's just too much good stuff out there to highlight it all. But you should read this.

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I know I'm a day late and a dollar short on this post, but I thought of it while I was unpacking boxes and just never got around to blogging it.

You know how Miss Nevada was stripped of her crown for being a skank? I was thinking that it's a lot more likely that girls of her/my generation would have something like this in their past to hide. How are we ever going to find First Ladies out of the Girls Gone Wild generation? Lots of college girls do dumb or slutty things these days, and with the prevalence of cell cameras, they'll never be safe from their antics.

Just a thought. Today's Girls Gone Wild chick is my kid's future third grade teacher...

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Varifrank's entry on Saddam's execution: Gauge the distance

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